Monthly Archives: September 2006

Coming soon to a polling booth near you: National Accountability Day

These are the dark and wet days of the rainy season, when Jamaicans on island hope we know what lies ahead (Christmas), but generally aren’t willing to put our money on it……

While sloshing through flooded roads or sitting in traffic while the water rises round us, we think about the day when someone might actually be fired for not (ever) having cleaned the drains on (insert your own road here)….. We think about National Accountability Day.

 

“Noah’s Flood: The New Scientific Discoveries About The Event That Changed History” (William Ryan, Walter Pitman)


Election (or National Accountability) Day

On National Accountability Day we hope that all the current Ministers, and Ministers of State, and Chairmen of State Boards (whom we all got tired of long, long ago) will vanish and be replaced by new faces.

We can then enjoy a few months (or weeks) of waiting for things to change totally, completely and absolutely for the better. (And when they don’t, we can get out our Bibles and ruefully read Ecclesiastes (1:9), you know, that part where he talks about “there is no new thing under the sun”…..)

So one of the problems that our current Leader of the Opposition will have on National Accountability Day is that his Members of Parliament (his pool of potential Cabinet members) are so shop soiled that it is difficult for voters to imagine them as new and different.

Yes, I can look forward to an enthusiastic Andrew Holness as Minister of Education and Colonel McMillan as a savvy and rock solid Minister of National Security. I think the Leader of the Opposition himself will make a good Prime Minister.

It’s when we get to what Karl Samuda will be doing in the Cabinet (can you see him as anything but in his current role as Cass-Cass-in-Chief ?), or Audley Shaw (amazing how that business about not being able to run a gas station sticks in your mind when you’re thinking of this future Minister of Finance) or our own Helen of Troy Joan Gordon-Webley ?

“Identity and Violence: The Illusion of Destiny (Issues of Our Time)” (Amartya Sen)

Our current Prime Minister has the same problem.

How to change out such long-past-their-sell-by-date-but-still-in-harness Cabinet members like Minister of Finance Omar Davies, Minister of Education Maxine Henry-Wilson and Minister of Justice the irrelevant A.J. Nicholson ?

Well, in the past few weeks we have been enlightened as to who is really in line to replace Omar:- Peter Bunting, the merchant banker who is about to get richer with the proposed sale of his firm Dehring, Bunting and Golding to Scotiabank.

Peter Bunting’s PNP resume ?

  • Supported Portia in her failed bid for the leadership in 1992
  • Sent former JLP Prime Minister Hugh Shearer to his political grave in the 1993 elections (Bunting resigned as M.P. and didn’t run again in 1997)
  • Largely financed Omar’s vanity run for the leadership earlier this year.

Omar has repeatedly boasted that only he has the confidence of the international financial markets (essential for a country with Jamaica’s massive debts), but Peter Bunting’s track record in money management is much closer to the U.S. experience (where Treasury Secretaries are cherry picked from Wall Street)……So Omar would get his, and we would get Peter…..so far, so good….

Thanks to Joan Gordon-Webley, we now know Maxine Henry-Wilson could be pushed aside by the PNP’s newest Vice-President Angella Brown-Burke. We totally understand Joan’s chagrin when she learnt that she might have to run against a smart, young PNP Vice-President familiar with the constituency (and the city), instead of the unpopular incumbent, Maxine Henry-Wilson……So far, so long Maxine….

But who will rid us of A.J. Nicholson ? Come on, there must be at least 1,000 equally qualified lawyers out there. Don’t any of you want to be in the Senate and go down in history as singlehandedly straightening out the Justice system after its despoiling in the hands of A.J. and Chief Justice Lensley Wolfe ?……So far, so depressing….

“P.D. James – A Certain Justice” (Ross Devenish)


Barbados Free Press launched a competition to identify the best/worst examples of official corruption in Barbados. So if you have ever lived or worked in Barbados and have something to tell, click over and unburden yourself. You could win US$1,000 !

No such luck for those of us living on the Rock. This week the local newspapers have been full of stories of Jamaican officials needing to be, or refusing to be, held accountable for anything whatsoever :-

1. Millions “missing” at the National Solid Slush Fund Agency ? Would that be the responsibility of Errol Greene, the Executive Director of the NSWMA? According to the article, the Board and the Fraud Squad will probably conclude just that…… Even if he just loses his job and gets a slap on the wrist (instead of going to jail), this would still be a triumph for Portia appointee and new Board Chairman, Ethlyn Norton-Coke. Not to mention the taxpayers.

2. Gunshots, murder and terror in the garrison constituencies of Maxine Henry-Wilson (JLP caretaker, Joan Gordon-Webley) and Andrew Holness (PNP caretaker, Patrick Roberts) ? Would that be the fault of the political representatives (all four of them) ? Bishop Herro Blair of the Peace Management Initiative thinks so, although Maxine looks to have kept out of this one. Possibly because she’s preoccupied with watching her back…… Accountability ? The voters should decide but won’t be given a chance to do so, so let’s award both seats to the JLP from now…….(assuming that Maxine remains the PNP candidate…..

3. More huffing and puffing over the Contractor General Greg Christie doing his job. Jamaicans are not used to being asked to take responsibility for their actions, and lots of public officials think that “being embarrassed” is the same thing as being held accountable. For example:

Some media person “embarrasses” you by asking why that contractor just gave you a massive pay-off; you complain to your political overlord; he complains to the media owner and, hey presto !, that media person loses their job and never bothers you again. Of course, you still feel “embarrassed” and will require even bigger payoffs in the future to make up for this blow to your self-esteem…..

4. A woman loses her baby because the island’s biggest maternity hospital, Victoria Jubilee, can’t organize a Caesarian section because instruments cannot be sterilized for surgery? The doctors’ blame the hospital administration who they claim needs to “wake up”, the hospital administration blames the South East Regional Health Authority, and the Authority says nothing much but makes it clear that it is part of the Ministry of Health (which can’t afford to staff and equip health facilities with the money it is allocated in the Budget…..)

The PM orders a probe and the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Health does herself no favours by suggesting that the doctors at Jubilee are making a fuss over nothing. After all, ALL Jamaicans have roaches running around their home (Note to the P.S.: I do have roaches at home, but I make a point of keeping them out of my operating theatre….)

Who’s accountable ? We bet it ends up being one of those situations where the complainers (the doctors) are helped to understand that there is no money to address their concerns….. Gentlemen, you know what to do on National Accountability Day.

5. And finally, over in the private sector at the resurrected Reggae Sunsplash, we get to enjoy a saga of mismanagement and incompetence that is funny only because people this clueless are usually employed to the Government of Jamaica. In this case, the empty pockets and red faces belong to the sponsor, bMobile, and the show promoters. And for this small blessing, Lord, we, the taxpayers, are truly thankful….

 

“Count Your Blessings: The Healing Power of Gratitude and Love” (John Demartini)

 

 

“Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings” (Rob Brezsny)

 

[posted with ecto]

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How to have a successful career in politics (Jamaican style)

Here are 4 techniques for ensuring a successful career in Jamaican politics, despite misguided voters, financial scandals and other mishaps……

Technique No# 1: Not a favourite with the voters ? Facing mutiny within your own party ? Cultivate a hard head and “strong ears”

Seaga Edward Seaga (in younger days)

The most successful practitioner of this technique is, of course, former Prime Minister Edward Seaga. Despite losing 4 general elections in a row (and a few local government elections along the way) this gentleman never doubted that the polls were wrong and that his fellow JLP M.P.’s were an ignorant, treasonous rabble.

Current practitioners: Bruce Golding, Seaga’s successor as Leader of the Opposition. Bruce demonstrates the use of this technique by his refusal to discuss the polls showing that he and the JLP will definitely lose the next General Election. Right now, this looks admirably like bravery and keeping a stiff upper lip.

A2479 Bruce Golding, Opposition leader

Remember, this behaviour will only translate to “pig headed and tone deaf”  after he has led the JLP to 2 consecutive election defeats.

Technique # 2: Election coming up ? Unpopular with the party hierarchy ? Cross the floor and take a seat elsewhere in the House, ignoring Party lines, previous loyalties, your constituents etc……

This technique is generally well understood and has been widely practiced by many politicians including Madame Rose Leon (JLP, PNP, JLP ?), Karl Samuda (JLP, PNP, JLP), Bruce Golding (JLP, NDM, JLP), Brascoe Lee (JLP, NDM, PNP)…….

However, aspiring politicos should note that crossing the floor even once will pretty much signal the end of your hopes of ever becoming a Maximum Leader.

Karlsamudab20031125Rb Karl Samuda, JLP General Secretary

If forced to seek a more comfortable situation, do as Bruce did, and seek it in a no-hoper third party, from which you can return without much ado…….

Technique # 3 : Public demands that you be fired from your Cabinet post ? Destroyed your own credibility by a vanity run for the party leadership ? Continually assert your own brilliance, general public’s stupidity ……and then digress……digress……. ….digress…..

This technique is best employed by politicians, such as the current Minster of Finance, whose natural facial features allow them to adopt a perpetually self-satisfied expression.

Omar Dr. Omar Davies

Whether explaining that only he is capable of

A. keeping good ship Jamaica afloat despite a mountain of debt, or

B. piling up more debt,

Dr. Davies has perfected the condescending tone necessary for explaining that the electorate (and the Opposition) are “Oh-so-reducing-a-complex-issue-to-a- simple-equation….”

The public may think that Massive debt + No way of repaying it = Disaster, but successful adopters of this technique will know that a long digression into “Scandals Whitehouse not costing the country a penny because we going to pay for it using money lent to us by Chavez and not repayable until 2090 when I will have been six foot under for longer than I have now been Finance Minister…..” will sufficiently confuse and bore enough people that they will move on to harassing another politician…..

Technique # 4: Have no economic program ? No plans except to be in power ? Facing tough socioeconomic issues ? Cultivate your personal attractiveness and charisma to the exclusion of all other qualities

Michael Manley A Michael Manley (long time ago)

Images-1 Sir Alexander Bustamante

This technique has been perfected over many years by the present Prime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller. However this technique was also extensively practiced with great success in former times by Prime Ministers Michael Manley and Alexander Bustamante.

RecortePrime Minister Portia Simpson-Miller

Unfortunately, unless total strangers already routinely flock you at cocktail parties, aspiring politicos may find this technique hard to adopt……..

(For other how-to’s, please visit Problogger…….)

“Sean Paul – Duttyology (Explicit Version)” (Sean Paul)

“Modern Blackness: Nationalism, Globalization, And The Politics Of Culture In Jamaica (Latin America Otherwise)” (Deborah A. Thomas)

 

“Cool Runnings” (Jon Turteltaub)

[posted with ecto]

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Jamaican men not seeking work : Prototypes or parasites ?

This week’s hot social issue is the new data contained in the thrilling and much anticipated government publication The Labour Force Survey 2005 (get your own copy hot off the press from The Statistical Institute of Jamaica).

Using this data, social scientists Robert Buddan and Dr. Trevor Munroe have identified a new group (henceforth to be known as “the parasites”) which are dragging the country (further) into the mud of underdevelopment……

Here’s a snippet from Robert Buddan’s Sunday Gleaner article:-

Parasitism – a special problem

A special problem among the marginalised, however, is what to do about those who will not help themselves.

According to Professor Trevor Munroe, 889,800 persons in our labour force of 1,193,000 had no training as of October 2005, and five out of eight were males. But the really shocking figure was that 338,200 persons 14 years and older did not want to work and more than two-thirds of them were males. Professor Munroe says this last figure reflects a growing problem of social parasitism. We need to ask of them, who is marginalising and excluding whom?

Actually, maybe we just need to get over it already. 28% of the Jamaican labour force “do not want to work” ? This is the shocking news ? !!!! Oh, please.

Clearly none of our social scientists ever listen to the talk shows; and clearly they have never stopped by “ the corner” in their community to offer one of the clean, fresh from the barber, domino-or-card-or drop-pan-playing young men a job (like cutting grass, cleaning up a yard, or assisting with some light construction work…..).

If they had, they would know that none of these apparently unemployed young gentlemen could possibly work for the money you are offering. (And some of them just find themselves unable to do that kind of manual labour at all – at any price).

The “healthy young man who does not want to work” has been extensively discussed every day on local radio stations for years, and years, and years…..

However any casual observation reveals that these men already have many things that motivate other men to work, and to look for work. They have girlfriends; they have baby mothers (and children); they have food to eat and somewhere to sleep at night; they have access to money to attend their local dances and sporting events. They have a barrel full of new clothes and shoes coming down “from foreign” at Christmas.

What they don’t have is the belief that working will bring them a much better quality of life than they already have. And given that they lack education and skills, and discipline and energy, they are usually right. Any job they could get (and keep) would be much less fun and rewarding than spending their days on the corner.

But are they parasites or just the beneficiaries of social change ? It seems as if intelligent, educated people of both sexes all over the world want women to be able to do whatever they please (work, have pickney, stay home and paint their nails), but want men to be allowed only one choice – work till you drop or can “afford” to retire.

And why do they want this ridiculous and impossible scenario (i.e. massive social change with all other things remaining the same) ? Why are men to have only one choice in life ?

Because they fear that if there is any other choice, millions of men will drop hands and sit on the corner (or in the house, in cold countries) and the only thing that will get them back into a job is much more money….Imagine that…….

Or even worse, they imagine that nothing will ever convince large numbers of working class men to take up work ever again…..Thereby leading to the collapse of patriarchy, capitalism, socialism, communism, feminism (add your own overarching theory here) ….in short, it will lead to the collapse of the world as we know it…..You see how a few Jamaican men can spoil things…..

They also imagine that working class women and families will not be willing to support husbands, fathers, sons and brothers who are not working, or looking for work. Well, guess what ? In Jamaica, at least, they are willing, and they have been supporting their men for years.

Years ago, in his book “The Marginalization of the Black Male” (1994) Professor Errol Miller predicted that as Jamaica goes, so goes the western world. He suggested that Jamaica (and the Caribbean) are about 30 years ahead of the rest of the world in terms of the social consequences of the liberation of women.

And he was wrong about this, since it is already some years that U.S. and U.K. newspapers have been carrying stories about women overtaking men in schools and colleges – something that happened in Jamaica circa 1975… (Of course, whereas we say our men are “wutless”, they say their men are suffering from discrimination…..Jamaican men have always been able to take their licks without whining tho’….)

So here’s my take on “the parasites” issue:-

The New York Times has already been carrying
articles about some white American men who are opting out of the rat race.

So it’s only a matter of time before Dr. Munroe’s “parasites” become the prototypes for some working class men everywhere …….especially once women in the U.S. and U.K. start behaving like Jamaican women, and fulfilling the feminist promise that the liberation of women will also prove to be the liberation of men……..

“The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Work” (Joshua Piven, David Borgenicht)

“The Worst Jobs in History: Two Thousand Years of Miserable Employment” (Tony Robinson, David Willcock)

“The Betrayal of Work: How Low-Wage Jobs Fail 30 Million Americans” (Beth Shulman)

“The End of Work” (Jeremy Rifkin)

[posted with ecto]

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The Week: Voters, visas and very bad words…..

JLP gears up, hopes there’s an election…..

Bruce Golding, the Opposition leader, has been on form this week. The JLP has been running some very unusual (for Jamaica) political ads – Bruce’s family testifying as to what a great guy he is. I specially liked the one by his wife, but they were all successful in giving you a positive image of the man. As Barbara Gloudon pointed out, who in the PNP (or on the island) could ask their family members to do similarly ?…….These are the times when the PNP must long for the dear departed Mister Five Wife and Five Pickney himself, Michael Manley…..He was a family man of a kind…..

Former Commissioner of Police Colonel Trevor McMillan also joined the JLP and will go straight into the Senate. Major confidence building measure since the Colonel was popular and effective as well as squeaky clean in his two stints leading the security forces (JDF and JCF).

Layout1 1 Pqcdntaskforclk

Bruce Golding and Colonel MacMillan

Much has been made of the need for Portia to clean house, but Bruce has to clean house too. Plenty hard working, but tired-and-desperately-overexposed members of the JLP need to be sent into retirement (I’m thinking Ken Baugh, Mike Henry, Pearnel Charles and Karl Samuda should be first out). These guys represent the “Seaga 1980’s” to plenty of voters and, as the JLP has probably noticed by now, Jamaican voters don’t have overly fond memories of that era…….



“Pure 80’s: The DVD” (Utv Records)

Jurassic Park section

The PNP, for reasons best known to senior party members, are running a genuine dinosaur for a seat in Eastern Hanover, Dr. D.K. Duncan. As Minister of Mobilization in the 1970’s he was in charge of roaming the land “raising support for Government policies” or “rent-a-mob” as it is now known….

Dkduncan20010716 D.K. now….

Don’t let this dinosaur’s current fossilized appearance fool you, old T. Rex himself had nothing on this guy when he was in his ackee……

Url-1 T. Rex then….

from Afflicted Yard

Not to be outdone, the JLP sent someone down to Grenada for Joan Gordon-Webley, former JLP MP for East Rural St. Andrew. She will run against Minister of Education Maxine Henry-Wilson in South East St. Andrew. This lady is not so much a dinosaur as a Helen of Troy – she’s beautiful but burning cities follow in her wake…..look for her constituents to send Maxine packing in favor of the lovely lady, and look for them to regret it shortly thereafter…….

Jlpa20060611Ng

          Joan with Desmond McKenzie



“Jurassic Park (Full Screen Collector’s Edition)” (Steven Spielberg)

Every single Jamaican vows to get become I.T. savvy and get online…..

With one single act, the U.S. Embassy in Kingston has ensured that all Jamaicans (alive now and yet to be born) will become experts in the use of computers and the Internet.

Since Friday gone, people wishing to apply for U.S. visas will no longer be able to get up at 4.00 am and stand in line outside the Embassy for hours on end. Instead they will have to book their visa appointments online !!!!!

Thank you, U.S. Embassy in Kingston, on behalf of all future Jamaican internet entrepreneurs  !



“Green Card” (Peter Weir)

Grounded

The Government of Trinidad and Tobago is finally shutting down BWIA and replacing it with a new entity. I suppose there is no chance of the Government of Jamaica doing the same with Air Jamaica until after the Cricket World Cup 2007, but this is one feeding trough for PJ cronies that Portia needs to deal with a.s.a.p. (There’s no need for any “new entity”, folks. Close it down and done….)

And in case you were hoping that crappy airlines were special to the Caribbean, read this description of air travel from the Ukraine and see if you recognize anything…..(Yes, it’s in English ! My Ukrainian is not so great either…….)



“Airport (Full Screen Edition)” (George Seaton, Henry Hathaway)

Music news :-

(1) Cat Stevens

220Px-01Cat Cat Stevens back in the day…

Cat Stevens (now a Muslim convert called Yusuf Islam) is about to release his first album in 20 years. This gentleman did wonders for Negril and Jamaican tourism back in the 70’s because he favoured low key spots on Negril’s West End, then considered a rural, strictly hippies-and-locals spot.

Ever went to a church concert or service and heard the choir attempting “Morning Has Broken” ? Mr. Yusuf Islam is the reason…….Any chance of the British government giving us this Muslim instead of this one ?



“Foreigner” (Cat Stevens)

(2) Class warfare

Bounty Killer got arrested for cussing at a stage show, and all the usual suspects (Beverley Manley, Sunday Herald) had something to say about his right to act like a middle class person (Their not so-apt-examples? Middle class women wining and carrying on bad at Jamaica Carnival…….Nobelist Derek Walcott using the word “bitches” at a UWI Writers Conference……).

Seems to me Bounty Killer must still be on probation for beating up his girlfriend. Wonder if he can get counseling for cussing as well……



“Omeros” (Derek Walcott)

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The Week: Voters, visas and very bad words…..

JLP gears up, hopes there’s an election…..

Bruce Golding, the Opposition leader, has been on form this week. The JLP has been running some very unusual (for Jamaica) political ads – Bruce’s family testifying as to what a great guy he is. I specially liked the one by his wife, but they were all successful in giving you a positive image of the man. As Barbara Gloudon pointed out, who in the PNP (or on the island) could ask their family members to do similarly ?…….These are the times when the PNP must long for the dear departed Mister Five Wife and Five Pickney himself, Michael Manley…..He was a family man of a kind…..

Former Commissioner of Police Colonel Trevor McMillan also joined the JLP and will go straight into the Senate. Major confidence building measure since the Colonel was popular and effective as well as squeaky clean in his two stints leading the security forces (JDF and JCF).

Layout1 1 Pqcdntaskforclk

Bruce Golding and Colonel MacMillan

Much has been made of the need for Portia to clean house, but Bruce has to clean house too. Plenty hard working, but tired-and-desperately-overexposed members of the JLP need to be sent into retirement (I’m thinking Ken Baugh, Mike Henry, Pearnel Charles and Karl Samuda should be first out). These guys represent the “Seaga 1980’s” to plenty of voters and, as the JLP has probably noticed by now, Jamaican voters don’t have overly fond memories of that era…….



“Pure 80’s: The DVD” (Utv Records)

Jurassic Park section

The PNP, for reasons best known to senior party members, are running a genuine dinosaur for a seat in Eastern Hanover, Dr. D.K. Duncan. As Minister of Mobilization in the 1970’s he was in charge of roaming the land “raising support for Government policies” or “rent-a-mob” as it is now known….

Dkduncan20010716 D.K. now….

Don’t let this dinosaur’s current fossilized appearance fool you, old T. Rex himself had nothing on this guy when he was in his ackee……

Url-1 T. Rex then….

from Afflicted Yard

Not to be outdone, the JLP sent someone down to Grenada for Joan Gordon-Webley, former JLP MP for East Rural St. Andrew. She will run against Minister of Education Maxine Henry-Wilson in South East St. Andrew. This lady is not so much a dinosaur as a Helen of Troy – she’s beautiful but burning cities follow in her wake…..look for her constituents to send Maxine packing in favor of the lovely lady, and look for them to regret it shortly thereafter…….

Jlpa20060611Ng

          Joan with Desmond McKenzie



“Jurassic Park (Full Screen Collector’s Edition)” (Steven Spielberg)

Every single Jamaican vows to get become I.T. savvy and get online…..

With one single act, the U.S. Embassy in Kingston has ensured that all Jamaicans (alive now and yet to be born) will become experts in the use of computers and the Internet.

Since Friday gone, people wishing to apply for U.S. visas will no longer be able to get up at 4.00 am and stand in line outside the Embassy for hours on end. Instead they will have to book their visa appointments online !!!!!

Thank you, U.S. Embassy in Kingston, on behalf of all future Jamaican internet entrepreneurs  !



“Green Card” (Peter Weir)

Grounded

The Government of Trinidad and Tobago is finally shutting down BWIA and replacing it with a new entity. I suppose there is no chance of the Government of Jamaica doing the same with Air Jamaica until after the Cricket World Cup 2007, but this is one feeding trough for PJ cronies that Portia needs to deal with a.s.a.p. (There’s no need for any “new entity”, folks. Close it down and done….)

And in case you were hoping that crappy airlines were special to the Caribbean, read this description of air travel from the Ukraine and see if you recognize anything…..(Yes, it’s in English ! My Ukrainian is not so great either…….)



“Airport (Full Screen Edition)” (George Seaton, Henry Hathaway)

Music news :-

(1) Cat Stevens

220Px-01Cat Cat Stevens back in the day…

Cat Stevens (now a Muslim convert called Yusuf Islam) is about to release his first album in 20 years. This gentleman did wonders for Negril and Jamaican tourism back in the 70’s because he favoured low key spots on Negril’s West End, then considered a rural, strictly hippies-and-locals spot.

Ever went to a church concert or service and heard the choir attempting “Morning Has Broken” ? Mr. Yusuf Islam is the reason…….Any chance of the British government giving us this Muslim instead of this one ?



“Foreigner” (Cat Stevens)

(2) Class warfare

Bounty Killer got arrested for cussing at a stage show, and all the usual suspects (Beverley Manley, Sunday Herald) had something to say about his right to act like a middle class person (Their not so-apt-examples? Middle class women wining and carrying on bad at Jamaica Carnival…….Nobelist Derek Walcott using the word “bitches” at a UWI Writers Conference……).

Seems to me Bounty Killer must still be on probation for beating up his girlfriend. Wonder if he can get counseling for cussing as well……



“Omeros” (Derek Walcott)

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Bored of polls ? Yes? No ? Nuh know ?

This week (AND last week, AND the week before) Jamaican residents have been subjected to a barrage of political polls in our daily papers.

Even if you didn’t bother to buy a paper, you had to listen to dozens of analysts every day, on every radio station, telling you what the polls mean……

The only interesting thing that came out of this week’s polls was a possible explanation for why popular Observer columnist Mark Wignall and his celebrated 25 year old girlfriend, Chupski (aka Sharna Lynch) ended up in court recently for not licensing, insuring or passing their vehicle (I’m assuming it at least had gas in it….)

20041101T020000-0500 68633 Obs The Elusive Female Orgasm  1

It turns out that Mark is no longer the man in charge of the Stone polls, (an important source of income for him) and I’m sure that the job he still has – writing a newspaper column- doesn’t keep Chupski in lipstick, much less in high heels.

Here’s my poll question :-

Will Mark and Chupski break up because

(a) he leaves her for a younger woman ?

(b) she leaves him for a man with a job ?

(c) “great sex” can’t conquer “no money” ?

____________________________________________

In Tennessee Mary Winkler, the preacher’s wife who became world famous last March by shooting her husband in the back, gets out on bail. She claims she killed him because they were having money problems.

Poll question :-

Should preacher’s wives shoot them in the back when

(a) they are having money problems?

(b) they are no longer in love ?

(c) whenever they feel like it ?

“Blood Simple (Director’s Cut)” (Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

____________________________________________

Back on Jamaica’s north coast another Bahia Principe worker dies (in a road accident), and Jamaica Tourist Board Chairman Dennis Morrison writes a tedious, self serving piece on the “hiccups” experienced by the massive hotel project.

Poll question:-

If a loved one is crushed to death while working on the construction of a hotel, how would you like them to be remembered

(a) as a hiccup ?

(b) as a poor man who couldn’t do better ?

(c) as the cause of a bureaucrat writing yet another tedious, self serving article ?

“Horror Hotel” (John Llewellyn Moxey)

____________________________________________

The New York Law Journal is reporting exciting news for fathers. A New York based Guyanese man was supporting the child of a woman he had a relationship with when he was in Guyana on holiday. He believed he was the father until the child was 5 years old and DNA tests proved otherwise. By this time the child and her mother were living in the U.S. AND he had married and had children with another woman.

Got that so far ? Now check this out. The child’s mother sued for child support. And despite the DNA test proving he was NOT the father, the Court of Appeals ruled that he should continue to pay child support.

Poll question :-

Should men be forced to support

(a) the children of any woman they have had sex with?

(b) the children of any woman who claims to have had sex with them?

(c) any child that calls them “Daddy”?

“Parenthood” (Ron Howard)

____________________________________________

Some Jamaicans are beginning to worry that the Cricket World Cup 2007 will not be all that we’ve been promised. They are worrying about those pesky details (hotel rooms available; transportation of tourists from resorts to cricket venues; security) that big men like World Cup Managing Director Chris Dehring have long since handed over to underlings like Robert Bryan (Local Organizing Committee).

Poll question:-

Should Chris Dehring declare Cricket World Cup 2007 a resounding success

(a) immediately ?

(b) after the event has taken place ?

(c) never ?

“Official Cricket World Cup 2003 Review” (Fremantle Home Entertainment)

____________________________________________

This week the Minister of State for Finance Fitz Jackson expressed annoyance with suggestions that the Government should pay public sector workers more, instead of giving money to PJ cronies and contractors. Meanwhile, the IDB announced that they would not make any new loans to the GoJ because Jamaicans are not getting “value for money” on projects already financed.

Poll question:-

Should the Government of Jamaica use multilateral debt to

(a) ensure that Dr. Vin Lawrence has a pleasant retirement ?

(b) ensure that Minister Omar Davies has a pleasant retirement ?

(c) ensure that Jamaicans born in 2050 will still be paying for all debt incurred now ?

“Life And Debt” (Stephanie Black (II))

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Polls in Trinidad this week showed that no matter who leads the warring Opposition party, the UNC, it has no chance of beating the ruling PNM in the election due next year. And in Guyana, the ruling Peoples Progressive Party (PPP) won a fourth term, just as the pollsters had predicted.

Poll question:-

Should polls be used to

(a) predict the results of elections ?

(b) fill up newspaper pages that could be better used covering crime, sports and entertainment ?

(c) keep Chupski properly attired ?

“True Lies” (James Cameron)

“sex, lies, and videotape” (Steven Soderbergh)

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